When events in our lives are painful, traumatic or clearly not what we would choose for ourselves consciously, we may naturally wonder, “why me?” The ultimate answer to this question is easy, and there is no need to invest our time and energy into trying to uncover another person’s reasons for involvement.
As the dynamic healer Iyanla Vanzant puts it, if something comes up in your life “it’s about you, your relationship with you, or your relationship with God.” A Course in Miracles concurs.
All things are lessons God would have me learn.
(A Course in Miracles Workbook Lesson 193)
It will probably be helpful to understand the details of our own involvement, and seeking this understanding will give us the opportunity to release unhealthy negative energies and build healthier mental patterns. This is our emotional and mental healing work.
If we are in right relation with God and ourselves, our relations with others are probably also “right,” or peaceful, loving and forgiving. And through those relations that don’t yet feel and manifest as peaceful, loving and forgiving, we will receive our individually-tailored lessons to correct our relationships with God and self.
[The lessons God would have you learn] reflect His loving kindness to the Son He loves. Each lesson has a central thought, the same in all of them. The form alone is changed, with different circumstances and events; with different characters and different themes, apparent but not real. They are the same in fundamental content. It is this:
Forgive, and you will see this differently.
(ACIM Workbook Lesson 193)
We may also be working through karma in a given relationship or situation, which would certainly offer opportunity for correction and healing of some aspect of our relationship to God or self. Remember that karma is a self-imposed system of our collective ego nature, an expression of the natural law “for each action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” It is not “God’s punishment” for our mistakes. However God’s agent of healing, the Holy Spirit, will work through karmic situations just like any other. We can be assured that the seeds of good are planted there; we just have to step out of the karmic mindset and nurture them.
How do we step out of the karmic mindset, the insistence of the ego nature that push be balanced by shove and what goes around comes around? We practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is the disintegrator of karma, the off ramp of the great wheel that grinds the world of density into place.
I will forgive, and this will disappear.
(ACIM Workbook Lesson 193)
Every little thing that ruffles me is calling me to practice forgiveness more deeply and completely. Every little thing. When I have integrated the truth of “all things are lessons God would have me learn” into my mind and life, the easy answer to “why me?” becomes simply “why not?” I can trust that whatever I am going through will ultimately become an expression of God’s Will through the forgiveness lessons it offers—lessons that result in my greater awareness of God’s Presence in my life and an increased ability to love His Children, including myself.
With Peace and Love,
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Healing Loss: Choose Love Now by Miradrienne Carroll
outlines spiritual principles and practices
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