Hell Week, Heaven Sent

In the short span of one week:

  • client #1 offered me schedule changes that dictate cutting my hours in half while infringing on my most popular time for individual sessions (reducing my income further),
  • client #2 put our work on hold indefinitely due to cost-cutting measures, and,
  • client #3 sold her business and retired.

Graphic Nothing to FearAnd when I invoke the “Client Numbering System,” I’m ranking revenue! It’s weeks like this that make me especially grateful to be a student of A Course in Miracles (ACIM).

Interestingly, the workbook lesson for the day I learned of the third event from “hell week” is:

There is nothing to fear.

(ACIM Workbook Lesson 48)

Reading on,

The idea for today simply states a fact.
It is not a fact to those who believe in illusions, but illusions are not facts.
In truth there is nothing to fear. It is very easy to recognize this.
But it is very difficult to recognize for those who want illusions to be true.

In truth there is nothing to fear. I need not become fearful about how I’ll continue to make a living. I need not become fearful or dramatic about whether I’ll ever find clients to replace any I may lose. I need not fear that I have done something wrong to bring this about, nor do I need to fear that any decisions I may make around these events might be wrong. In truth there is nothing to fear, and I want truth to be true. Not illusions.

I have no cause for anger or for fear, for You surround me.
And in every need that I perceive, Your grace suffices me.

(ACIM Workbook Lesson 348)

I quote this passage often, to myself and others, because it reminds me why my fear is unfounded. That which seems to surround me in a fear-ful (fear-enticing) way is merely an illusion grown from the seed notion of ego or “not God.” This is a fearful concept indeed, except that it is not true. God, the Creator, the Great I AM, surrounds me always, because It is All That Is and I am It’s creation. God is with me, and God influences all events, even fearful, perverted, ego-sponsored events, to bring them back around to It’s purposes. I, in ego-consciousness, thought I knew more or less where my money was coming from this year. But apparently God has another idea.

I take in the facts of clients #1, #2 and #3, and think about all the times I have not worked on my latest book in the past 8 months because I was too busy. I gaze at the neat stack of research books, not yet cracked. I consider my intention to create TIME for this book to gestate and form this year, and what I have already cleared away to allow it to burst from my heart and mind into the fullness of something good manifest and shared. I stop thinking silly thoughts of fear. God Itself has just endorsed my book.

Outbreath. Gratitude. There IS nothing to fear.

It’s not that God is endorsing my book, per se. The Supreme Creator is endorsing my choice to be creative—to invest in creativity and express as a creative being. This endorsement is not a promise of commercial success or any other kind of “success” as this world might define it, other than the personal success of being what I am. Rather it is guidance—this change in circumstances is a signpost that the undertaking of this creative endeavor at this time, instead of what I “usually” do, will be beneficial to me as a soul on the journey back to the place we have never left. Beneficial to me as a soul. I breathe this truth in.

Now, just for giggles and instruction, let’s follow the ego’s counsel of fear out to a logical, yet extreme conclusion. I’ve lost significant income. What’s coming? Financial ruin, no doubt! What does that mean? I won’t be able to take care of myself or others. I’ll lose my freedom to do fun stuff and enriching activities. I’ll lose my friends due to being a gaping, needy money pit. I’ll lose my ability to buy good food and supplements. I’ll lose my health. I’ll lose my confidence. I’ll lose my ability to see clients at all. I’ll lose my home. I’ll lose my credibility. I’ll die sick, destitute and alone, and all that will be remembered of me is failure!

OMG! Only if I lose my mind and give in to fear—at each and every step along the way. Let’s make another pass with the speculation meter. (We could go on and on dissecting the untrue “facts” upon which my fears are based; for brevity’s sake let’s just examine a few.)

Is it true that I’m facing financial ruin and cannot take care of myself or others? Not today. But if this did somehow come to pass, could I have peace in the face of it?

Yes. My worth is not tied to my finances or my ability to “take care of” anything.

Am I a gaping, needy money pit? No. And I need not be. Could I have peace in the face of doing without, or asking for help, or receiving charity?

Yes. My worth is not tied to having things or the illusion of self-sufficiency.

How are my health, confidence and credibility? They all seem to be intact today. Can I have peace in the face of the possibility of losing my health?

Yes—unsettling as the idea is. Losing one’s health is the way of life on this planet—everything corporeal and material crumbles, decays and dies. I am not a body (I am spirit and I am free), so to allow the thought of the body’s demise to steal my peace is, well, insane. In our world it is entirely understandable to visit this place of fear (for the body), but I sure don’t want to live there and call it the truth.

In what do I place my confidence? Is it in earthly things that so easily fall to dust? Is it in my ego mind that processes everything through the lens of fear, lack and attack?

The presence of fear is a sure sign that you are trusting in your own strength.
The awareness that there is nothing to fear shows that somewhere in your mind,
not necessarily in a place which you recognize as yet,
you have remembered God and let His strength take the place of yours.
The instant you are willing to do this there is indeed nothing to fear.

(ACIM Workbook Lesson 48)

Outbreath. Gratitude. There is nothing to fear. And thanks to “hell week,” I know it better now.

With Peace, Love and Joy,
Mira Carroll

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Healing Loss: Choose Love Now by Miradrienne Carroll
outlines spiritual principles and practices
for anyone who wants to heal, at any time,
from the context of healing grief and loss.

Copyright © 2015

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Comments
4 Responses to “Hell Week, Heaven Sent”
  1. Elaine Mays says:

    Boy did I need that – thank you for sharing your own work. It has helped me tremendously to read this.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, Carol, thank you for sharing in detail how the human mind can descend into the depths of despair and ascend to the heights of faith in Truth–all in one breath. You are a superb writer!!!Your book is already written, needing only the seeming “space/time” to materialize. Btw, the clarity of your mind is also superb.  With love and appreciation,Lynne From: miracarroll To: lmatous@yahoo.com Sent: Wednesday, February 18, 2015 11:44 AM Subject: [New post] Hell Week, Heaven Sent #yiv4912970123 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv4912970123 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv4912970123 a.yiv4912970123primaryactionlink:link, #yiv4912970123 a.yiv4912970123primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv4912970123 a.yiv4912970123primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv4912970123 a.yiv4912970123primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv4912970123 WordPress.com | miracarroll posted: “In the short span of one week: client #1 offered me schedule changes that dictate cutting my hours in half while infringing on my most popular time for individual sessions (reducing my income further), client #2 put our work on hold indefinitely due” | |

    Liked by 1 person

    • miracarroll says:

      Lynne, thank you for your loving support and the reminder that my book is already written. Yes, I but need to allow the space/time for its manifestation. Isn’t it interesting how flexible and stretchy the mind is? Our minds are capable of running the complete gamut—from insanity to being centered in Truth—in just an instant. How powerful—particularly in the insanity-to-Truth direction! So powerfully creative when we learn, as you have, how to rule/direct/correct/focus (dare I used the word “discipline”?) our own unruly minds! ❤ ❤ ❤

      Like

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