Fruit Basket Upset
The Story Behind Healing Loss: Choose Love Now
I had been a student of A Course in Miracles (ACIM) for several years, was in the midst of doing the workbook lessons, had been working hard in the area of spirituality and forgiveness and thought I saw the fruits of my spiritual labor finally ripening and within reach. To me these fruits looked like luscious raspberries and blueberries. And I had ALWAYS WANTED raspberries and blueberries! And then, all of a sudden, all I could see was the butt-end of raspberries and blueberries going away from me. I felt devastated. My hope for raspberries and blueberries evaporated (dare I say) like piss on a griddle. It seemed like every pain I had ever felt was coming back to sneer at me. I was smack in the middle of loss.
You might say my fruit basket got upset. But it would be more accurate to say that I chose to get upset over the fruit that was not in my basket.
I had studied and even experienced (through meditations, healing work and exercises) spiritual truths that proved I had no reason to believe I had actually been “devastated,” but I felt so emotionally disappointed and broken that now I could not remember them. I could not hold these truths firmly in my consciousness to keep myself in a place of peace. All the old recordings of lack and failure boomed in my head and hung on my heart. I easily slipped into circuits of negative thinking and sadly spun round and round. But I also had the capacity to witness this virus ravaging my mind and I knew there was a way out, a way to stop its replicating.
Despite my pain, I kept on doing my spiritual work—working the ACIM workbook and practicing forgiveness. And I began taking notes on the concepts that soothed my wrong thinking so I could remember right thinking more easily. As I sat in prayer and meditation doing my lessons, I began to receive messages not only for my personal healing but also about making my notes into a book. I decided to listen and follow the still, small voice.
One way or another, I subjected every ounce of pain that I perceived over not receiving raspberries and blueberries to this lesson from the Course:
All things are lessons God would have me learn.
This is the lesson God would have you learn: There is a way to look on everything that lets it be to you another step to Him and to salvation of the world.
To all that speaks of terror, answer thus, “I will forgive and this will disappear.” To every apprehension, every care, and every form of suffering, repeat these selfsame words. In them you hold the key that opens Heaven’s gate, and brings the Love of God the Father down to earth at last, to raise it up to Heaven. God will take this final step Himself. Do not deny the little steps He asks you take to Him.
(ACIM Workbook Lesson 193)
I still strive to practice forgiveness this way, whenever I realize that I have lost my peace. Forgiveness is the centerpiece of my spiritual practice. And, without fail, when I forgive, my pain, suffering and dis-ease disappear.
Our sincere spiritual efforts always produce fruit. Many will say that the fact that we are powerful creators, created in the image of the Supreme Creator, means that we can harness our creative power to produce the fruits of our choice. And often it appears that we can. But this is an appearance only. We appear to produce the fruits of our choosing when our choice aligns in content and in time with the Big Unseen Plan for the Greater Good, coordinated by The Power greater than ourselves. This has been referred to as “God’s Plan.”
Our sincere spiritual efforts always produce fruit—exactly the fruit we need now to remember that we already are ALL POSSIBLE FRUITS. That we are always part of the All and thus always have All. We may desire and believe we deserve raspberries and blueberries, and instead receive apples and peaches. In our focus on raspberries and blueberries, if a peach shows up and we do not recognize it as the fruit of our spiritual effort and receive it with gratitude, we are blocking our experience of all that the peach has to offer. Not only are we blocking the gifts of the peach, we are now also blocking our access to raspberries and blueberries.
To be grateful is to recognize the love of God in everything He has given us—
and He has given us everything.
Every breath we draw is a gift of His love,
every moment of existence a gift of grace.
Thomas Merton, 20th century monk, writer and mystic
In my loss I learned how important it is to cultivate spiritual fruit and that we are welcome to desire—even prefer—raspberries and blueberries. But we must also cultivate non-attachment to the form and be open to receive thankfully the fruits of our work in any form and timeframe they are given.
I have not yet received the raspberries and blueberries I wanted. I have harvested a glorious basket of peaches and pineapples and apples and cherries. No doubt there are fruits in this basket I have yet to identify or fully appreciate. My basket is full and delightful.
Not getting what I thought would fulfill me, I received the peace I began to feel in the face of my “loss,” peace I have felt growing every day since. I received boundless love. I received clarity. I received insurance against future loss. I received a deeper knowledge of who I am and my purpose for being here now. I received my book, Healing Loss: Choose Love Now. And I received release from my belief that I NEEDED raspberries or blueberries.
Healing Loss: Choose Love Now by Miradrienne Carroll
outlines spiritual principles and practices
for anyone who wants to heal, at any time,
from the context of healing grief and loss.
Copyright © 2014 All rights reserved.
“Fruit” Image courtesy of zole4 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net (Raspberries)
“Blueberries spilt On Table” Image courtesy of Grant Cochrane / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
“Peach In Basket” Image courtesy of porbital / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
“Fruits Basket” Image courtesy of John Kasawa / FreeDigitalPhotos.net